


Being Happy

by eganbrookheimers



Category: Veep
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-25
Updated: 2016-08-25
Packaged: 2018-08-10 21:58:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7862692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eganbrookheimers/pseuds/eganbrookheimers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No matter how many times she told herself that she was doing the right thing, the pit in her stomach let her know she wasn't. </p><p>That pit in her stomach also went by the name Dan Egan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Being Happy

While she had always been different from girls her own age, there was one way in which Amy Brookheimer was exactly the same. One fateful night while she was in middle school, all the girls at her sleepover made lists of all the qualities their own Prince Charming's required. Many of the girls quickly jotted down things like: handsome, nice, respects his mother, things they had no doubt been told by their own mothers to look for in a partner, and shockingly, Amy joined them in their list-writing. But when Amy went to make her list, the qualities were much different. She wanted someone smart, competitive, and driven, and when a friend leaned in to peek at her list, she scoffed. When Amy asked her to explain her annoyance, the girl replied, "Amy, that sounds just like you." 

20+ years later, that list would go on to keep Amy Brookheimer up nights. Particularly this night, as she continued to stare at her ceiling fan spinning in circles. Staring, in part, to distract from the friendly cowboy she would be marrying that next evening. 

Married. She never, in her wildest dreams, thought she would be married. After Selina's lost election, she had spent hours, days, weeks, rethinking her every move as campaign manager, resenting herself for letting Dan cloud her head, resenting Dan and her sister for having sex, resenting fucking Karen for being the worst individual to ever live. But while she broke down in tears and angry fits most nights in the post-election madness, Buddy was there. He had stayed, holding her hand and hugging her no matter how hard she struggled against it, until she eventually calmed down. She eventually got over the election, and went on to work for an up and coming Senator from Illinois, and as she dug her way out of the hole, Buddy was still there. He had stayed with her through all of it, smile, bolo tie and all. She should be happy, right? She was marrying a guy who in every respect was perfect. He and her father loved to watch football together on Sunday's, he gave minimal attention to Sophie, and let Amy tell him what to do, basically always. But no matter how many times she told herself that she was doing the right thing, the pit in her stomach let her know she wasn't. 

That pit in her stomach also went by the name Dan Egan. "Ugh, fuck him," was the external reply from Amy's internal monologue. Dan. Fucking Dan. While many of the other White House staff had politely declined her wedding invitation, he had been one of 3 (Gary and Selina being the others) to RSVP 'Yes.' And with a plus one, no less. She had prayed, actually prayed that he would RSVP no, but of course he didn't. It wasn't like he knew he had kept Amy staring at her ceiling fan every night since her engagement, and most nights since the inauguration of President Montez. Because every night she'd yelled, thrown dishes, and eventually hugged Buddy in an apology, she wished it was Dan. Now, she knew Dan wasn't that kind of guy, but she wished so badly he could be. Despite her own best attempts to believe it, Buddy didn't ignite a fire in her, he didn't even strike a match. Even though the idea of being able to tell someone what to do forever sounded enticing, she knew deserved more. And knowing exactly what, and more specially who, this more entailed, Amy's insides were sent on the somewhat never ending rollercoaster yet again. "I can do this," she said. "I can be happy." With those words and 2 melatonin, Amy rolled over, preparing herself to wake up the next morning and be happy. 

\--

Dan Egan could not believe he was going to Amy Brookheimer's wedding. Not only because he refused to ever go to another co-workers wedding (Mike's was enough of a shit show to scare him away from the idea), but because that former co-worker was also his ex-girlfriend, former sexual partner, and confidant. To be honest, Dan had always kind of thought he would be marrying Amy. He knows, he was kind of an asshole to her the majority of the time, but he couldn't deny the spark between them. Even when she drove him absolutely insane, he still couldn't help but smile at her. He couldn't believe she was getting married, and to such a fucking schmuck at that. Even the thought of the Nevadan made Dan instinctually roll his eyes. Amy was brilliant and beautiful, and he'd know, she was on par with him. She could out strategize any man in any room, a trait that always made Dan smirk in that way that didn't seem totally innocent. Amy could do so much better, and it didn't have to be him. Just anyone other than that fucking cowboy. 

He had considered calling Amy a thousand times after the election, knowing she would be eaten up by the mistakes they'd made. He had picked up his phone one night after his 5th scotch, wanting to finally let Amy know he was in love with her, but just as he went to type, he got a text from Mike. It was a picture of Amy and Buddy, him holding her hand as it held a mediocre diamond ring. "Holy Shit, have you seen this? I'm so sorry man," the text read. After 5 more glasses of scotch, he just decided to go home with a random girl instead, not because he wanted to, but just because he couldn't deny that the girl he loved finally looked happy, and he didn't have anything to do with it.

That night still didn't settle well with Dan, as he drank a beer and ate his pizza. He turned on the local news, just in time for a piece on D.C. staffer Amy Brookheimer getting married tomorrow night in "what will surely be, one of the most beautiful weddings in recent D.C. history." "Oh you have to be fucking kidding me," Dan said with exasperation. He angrily switched off the tv and got into bed, finishing off his beer as he settled in his sheets. "I can do this," he convinced himself, "I can be happy for her." And with the last sip of beer and the flick of a light switch, Dan went to sleep, trying to convince himself that going to her wedding wouldn't be the most masochistic thing he'd ever done to himself. 

 

\--

Sophie jumping on her bed was not the way she expected her wedding day to start. The screaming in her ear was just an added bonus. "What the fuck, Amy? You were supposed to be up 2 fucking hours ago."

Slowly rising from bed, wiping her groggy eyes, Amy replied, "Sorry Sophie, took melatonin last night. The ringing of the alarm clock didn't wake her, as she had thrown it out her window the first time it rang. Seeing the excitement on her bridesmaids’ faces forced her to paint on a smile, as she got up and began to get dressed.  
Getting in the shower, Amy was hoping to wash away the feelings she had had last night. Washing her hair, she rinsed the shampoo and let the water wash over, but when she closed her eyes, all she could see were memories. Memories of the first time she met Dan, he gave her same stupid smirk he always did, but it worked on her back then. The first date, at a stupid, cheap bar, because both of them were seriously broke. The first time, after the cheap bar, on the floor in his shitty apartment. All the late nights, coffee runs, longing looks-”

“Dammit Amy, snap out of it,” Amy growled, angry that he had managed to worm his way back into her head, she didn’t want to be thinking about him at all today. She was angry at herself, and at him, so she knocked everything into the shower floor and screamed, “Fuck!” as long as her lungs would go.

“Amy,” her mother called. “You ok in there?”  
“Yeah Mom, just fell in the shower. I'm ok though,” Amy lied through her teeth. 

“Okay honey, just making sure you're alright. I'd hate for something to ruin your day.”

“Me too Mom.” Amy stepped out of the shower and dried herself off with a towel, hoping it would be the last time she thought of Dan Egan today.

\--  
The glaring light of day woke Dan from his beer-induced slumber. He groaned once for his hangover, and then again when he realized what day it was. "Fuck," he said aloud, "I do not want to go to this." Of course as soon as he got out of bed he heard a knock at the door. Shit, he was supposed to meet his date an hour ago.  
“What the fuck, Dan,” the woman said, “We are so late for this thing already.”

Dan gave an apologetic look to his date. “Look,” He stumbled off forgetting his dates name.

“Really Dan? You don’t even remember my name? It's Rachel, dipshit.”

“Ahh,” Dan nodded. “I knew it was with an R.”

“You better be lucky this wedding is a big fucking deal, otherwise I would be leaving your ass right now. Go get dressed, we have to try and get in a picture for People Magazine.”

He put on his tux, and as his date straightened his bow tie, the sick feeling in his stomach only grew, pushing Dan to throw up as his plus one stared in shock. "What the hell is wrong with you?" She asked.

"Um, I'm just a little hungover. It's fine." He said with a boldfaced lie. 

He wiped his face off with a washcloth, hoping today would be the last time he ever thought of Amy Brookheimer.

\--

Dan sat in the church, nervously fidgeting and looking around at the pictures they'd put on the programs. She looked so happy, it only deepened the sadness in his heart. As if he didn't have enough to fucking deal with today, who other than Gary fucking Walsh should come and sit next to him. "Oh my God, Dan! Isn't this just beautiful! I'm so happy for Amy, she really deserves a nice guy."

Dan rolled his eyes and deeply sighed. "Yeah, I'm sure she'll be real happy about living on some cow-fucker's farm forever."

Gary looked at Dan with his big brown eyes, internally deciding whether or not to speak. "Dan," he cautiously began, "why did you come today? This can't be easy for you."

Dan scoffed at the accusation. "Why the fuck wouldn't I be here? I went to fucking Mike's wedding, she's a co-worker, so I'm here. Good for her."

"So you're.... happy for her?"

"Yeah Gary, I'm really just fucking thrilled." 

"Dan, come on," Gary said with his nervous laugh. "You don't get to be mad. This was yours to lose. Everyone knew Amy wanted you, you're the only who continued to blow it time and time again-"

"I get it, okay?" Dan interrupted, "I fucking understand that had I been a decent person one day in my fucking life, that could be me about to stand up there instead of the biggest fucking smiler since Ronald McDonald."

Dan stood up, as the sick feeling in his stomach began to rise. "I gotta get out of here, I gotta get the fuck OUT." He ran out of the pew, out of the church and into a cab, leaving his date behind.

"Where to?" The cab driver asked.

"18th and New York. I'm getting drunk."

\--

Amy stood there looking at herself in the mirror, veil, white dress and all. She heard the oohs and ahhs of the bridesmaids and her mother, but no matter how hard she looked at herself, she couldn't quite reach the joyous state herself. She knew she looked beautiful, but continuing to feign excitement had proved to be exhausting. Amy just wanted this whole day to be over, because she knew as soon as the day was over, she would no longer be worrying about a wedding, and could just be married. That would make her happy, right? 

"Jesus Amy, try not to look like you just found out your family just died in a car crash." Sophie, supportive as always, said. 

"Sweetie, do you feel alright?" Amy's mother asked tenderly. 

"Yeah mom, I feel fine, just nerves." She replied.

Amy’s mother took her daughter’s hands. “Oh, I remember feeling that way. I was so excited, the night before my wedding I could barely sleep.”

“Yeah, me too Mom.”

A Secret Service agent stepped into the room, grabbing the attention of all the women. "President Meyer to see you, ma'am." Amy didn't even have time to turn around before her former boss and friend walked into the room.

“Amy,” Selina said as she took her former Chief of Staff’s hands, "I am so happy I could be here for you. Even if Gary did lose my luggage." 

Amy laughed, knowing how poor Gary must have looked running around the airport looking for Selina's things. 

"I am so happy you have found your soulmate. You know, as much as Andrew and I fought, I still loved him. Because when I met him, I knew I had met my match. Sure, he challenged me in every conceivable way, and God did I hate him sometimes. But that spark, you never forget that spark. I may not know Brandon-"

"Buddy," my interrupts.

"Buddy," Selina corrects, "but I'm glad you have someone who makes you feel that way too."

The realization of Selina's words hit Amy like a ton of bricks. "I-I-I I have to get out of here. Now." And in a cloud of white lace and tulle, Amy ran out the doors of the dressing room, out onto the street, and kept running until she could no longer see the church's steeple. 

\--

"Vodka. Scotch. Beer. Anything you have would be great."

The bartender looked at Dan quizzically. "Lose your job or get a divorce?"

Dan looked up from the bar with dread. "Neither. Girl I'm in love with today is getting married, and it is all my fucking fault."

"Damn. I'll get you 2 of everything then."

After his 4th shot, Dan excused himself to use the restroom. Just as he entered the bathroom doors, a flood of white tulle walked into the bar, and sat on a stool. Amy sat, holding up a finger to the barkeep, while she took 3 deep breaths and composed herself. "Tequila. Quickly please."

The gentleman across the countered stared at her. "You, uh, getting married today?"

"Yeah, did the huge ass dress give it away?" Amy shot back with her furrowed brow. Seeing her stress level, the shot was quickly handed to her, and taken. Just in time for the bathroom doors to open.

Dan could hardly believe it. In fact, he couldn't believe it. He was sure he was having a hallucination, and was already figuring out how to sue the bar for slipping him something. But as he walked closer, the so-called vision didn't disappear, but instead got clearer. When Amy finally turned around, Dan felt like he couldn't breathe. Her blonde hair curled and twisted so perfectly on to her head, her eyes shining brightly, the dress hugging her beautifully. What really got him though, was the look she was giving the bartender. Her "shut the fuck up, I'm the boss" face. One she had given him, Gary, tens of senators and even a Supreme Court Justice. When he saw that look, one he loved so much, he finally found his words.

"Wow. You look.... beautiful."

Amy recognized that voice, as a combination of dread and panic filled her veins. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

He approached her carefully. "Amy, I just-"

“I cannot fucking do this. Not today.” And just as quickly as she had entered, she ran out. "Dammit," he said rolling his eyes. As he ran out the door he said, "I'll be back to pay the tab!"

He chased her down the street for a few blocks, but Amy forgot that her former lover was much faster than she was. Not to mention the pounds of dress she was wearing. Which is why when he caught up to her, she finally relented and took a seat on the sidewalk. 

"You just had to be at the bar didn't you?" She asked him with an annoyed gaze. "All the bars in D.C. and you just had to go to the one from our first date."

"How was I supposed to know you'd be there? I don't have a fucking NASA satellite assigned to you, and pardon me for assuming you'd be at your own shitty wedding."

"My wedding is not shitty, Dan," Amy said incredulously. "Sophie and my Mother spent a lot of time on color schemes and table settings."

"I'm not talking about your fucking flower arrangements Amy. I'm talking about the groom."

“Dan, you don’t get to talk to me about my choices. YOU HAD SEX WITH MY FUCKING SISTER. I have NEVER IN MY LIFE been the girl who was in heads over heels in love with a guy, and let it fuck up every other area of her life. But no, you, you just had to show me what kind of guy you could be, getting me a fucking job as a glorified pimp with you, letting me bitch about being campaign manager. Showed me that guy, then had to go and FUCK MY SISTER. I was Depressed Dan, I was so dark I made fucking Morticia Adams look like Little Miss Sunshine, and where was Mr. Nice Guy then? Nowhere, Dan, you were nowhere. So maybe he isn’t everything I’ve ever wanted, but he showed up when it fucking COUNTED, and he is a nice, decent guy. I deserve that.”

After finishing a monologue rivaled only to the one after which she quit her job, Amy plopped herself down and put her head in her hands. 

“January 25th. February 15th AND 16th. March 3rd, April 10th, May 4th, June 8th, July 5th, August 22nd, September 14th,” Dan started. “Those are all the dates that I came and stood on your doorstep. All the days I wanted to check on you, to let you know I cared. That I was IN LOVE with you, Ames. But every time I came, I reminded myself that you weren't single and you looked happy, that you deserve to be happy. After everything I've done to you, you deserved to be left alone. I wanted to come today so I could finally cut the cord, but I couldn't handle the idea of watching you be with someone else. So I left. You know, You’re right,” Dan said, getting Amy’s attention.

“I’m always right,” Amy said softly, “But what am I right about right now?”

“I am an asshole. I am an asshole’s asshole, and you deserve better. But I can’t sit here right now, today and not tell you how the truth. I love you, Amy Brookheimer. Me-the guy who has done morally reprehensible things my whole life, the one who broke your heart, the one who has admitted to being a fan of Bernie Madoff’s work. But dammit Amy, I cannot stop thinking about you, and I have tried, believe me I have. If you want to marry Buddy, I can’t stop you. I just can’t see you right here, right now and not say it, but do what makes you happy.”

“Dammit Dan. You picked the worst time to decide to be a nice guy.”

“I know. I'm sorry.”

Amy laughed, a soft laugh, but enough for Dan to hear it. “You sensitive little bitch. I can't believe you, Daniel “Ice Man” Egan just spilled his guts to me, is this some shit from Frozen or something?” She paused as the meaning behind his words set in. “You know you said you loved me.” Amy looked at him then, really looked at him. 

“I know. To be fair, you said it first, but I let that slide.”

The tension in the air was thick with sexual chemistry and worry.

“What are you gonna do, Ames?” Dan asked. “There's a church full of people expecting you any minute. Do you want to get married?”

“Yeah. Just not to him.” 

Dan’s head shot up. “What do you mean?”

“You know I've been thinking about you ever since we lost the election, but I put it to the side. When Selina came to visit me today though, she said something that I couldn't shake. She said when she was with Andrew, no matter how much she hated him at times, she never felt that way about anyone else. She said when she met him, she had met her match. You are my stupid, arrogant, narcissistic match. And no matter how many times you leave your seat up, or try to fight with me on policy, you're still gonna be it. Because even though I hate myself for saying it, I love you, you stupid asshole.”

Dan smiled that smirk at Amy, and said, “I love you too you crazy bitch.”

Amy held up a finger, “Dan you know I feel about the word bitch.”

“I do know,” he said.

Then Dan pulled Amy close, and for the first time in 3 years, they kissed. And it was like fireworks. 

“So, I am going to go cancel my wedding. You're going to go home and pack, I have a plan.”

Dan raised his eyebrow. “Do you now?”

“Just go, I'll meet you there.”

\--

Exactly one hour later, Amy appeared on Dan’s doorstep for the first time in a year. “Damn, I kinda miss the dress.”

“Please shut the fuck up,” Amy shot back.

“So, what happened?”

“I ended it, and would you believe that stupid fucker still smiled at me after?”

“I would absolutely believe it. So where we going, your honeymoon in Bora Bora?”

“No Dan, not even WE can be that big of assholes. I gave my honeymoon trip to Selina and Gary. She was the one who hired you, and the one who got my head out of my ass today.”

“Yeah, Gary’s the reason I left the wedding too. And because he was actually right, not because of his personality this time.”

“So, I know it's not Bora Bora, but Selina did leave me keys to her Florida house.”

“Shit yes. This is just as good, expect it will spare us at least a little bad press.”

“Yeah, good luck cleaning up that mess.”

They grabbed their bags, walked out and locked the door. Dan wrapped his arm around Amy and pulled her close, looking into her eyes. As the elevator doors closed, he kissed her, knowing he had his match, and could finally just be happy.

\--


End file.
